Great moments in parenting.

I have had a few of these throughout the four years I have been a mom. I don't always recognize the moment as great right away. Sometimes it takes a little bit of time. A friend of mine posted a status update about how when is child was born, he swore he'd never lie to her. Apparently, their goldfish has been away at summer camp for 5 months now. Hey, it happens to the best of us....

A few years ago, one of the obnoxious noisy toys that Hayden was playing with finally stopped working. She was getting a little frustrated with it because she was not done playing. I finally explained to her that it needed batteries to run and the batteries were dead. The only way to get it working again was to buy new batteries. She completely understood me and it made sense to her.

And then...

"Mom, we need to batchries. We go to the store for batchries?" 

Soon, Hayden. The store is out of them right now. But we'll go soon. I promise. Ahem.

A few days later we are in the car and I'm driving them to daycare. Both girls are madly clicking their power window buttons. I lock these intentionally because I can't stand the change in pressure when the windows are going up...and down...and up...and down...or God FORBID if one window is only a few inches down because that's when my eardrums feel like they are going to explode. To avoid exploding heads, I lock the windows. 

The girls sense something is wrong and tell me 45 times "Momma, the window is broken!" and finally a lightbulb goes on and I say "No, honey, it's just the window isn't working anymore because it needs new batteries." 

"Oh," she says. And she is satisfied with this answer. I feel like I won some sort of parenting-secret jackpot. Now, the minute anything stops working, it  needs new batteries!

Flashlight won't turn on? It needs new batteries! 

The candy drawer is stuck shut? Definitely needs new batteries!! 

The markers dried out? They need new batteries! 

Great moments in parenting come back to haunt me sometimes though. 

One morning we were on our way to daycare and I was singing along with the radio. Miss Hayden says "Momma! Your singing is broken. It needs new batteries." 

Well played, Hayden. Well played. 

Monster Repellant

For reasons that I am unsure of, Hayden has become afraid of monsters that are in her room. Not just monsters, but spiders and snakes as well. I have to be honest, even if it makes me a bad Momma, I don't believe her. That's right, I think she's lying. However, I believe she is doing so because she doesn't want to go to bed. She would rather go play in Lucy's room or come in with me and snuggle up to watch TV. The fear is less about monsters and more about being alone. She does not like being alone. 

After an evening where she was in tears crying about the creatures that surely lurked in her princess room, I had an idea. I asked her if she would like me to pick up some Monster Spray and explained this would surely keep ALL monsters and creepy crawlies away. She thought this was the best idea ever. 

Go me! 

I picked up a few supplies the following day and while the girls were out playing after dinner, I did my best to create a cute little bottle of Monster Spray for Hayden to use. 

When it came time for bed, I asked her if she would like to spray and she said "Oh, SURE I would! We need to spray to get the monsters out." I presented her with her very own bottle of Monster Spray: 

Monster Spray

She. Went. Ballistic. 

I've done a lot of amazing things in my life, but I am quite certain that this little $1 bottle with googly eyes and pipe cleaners may be my pièce de résistance. It's more fabulous than I could have ever imagined. Face on the front, pom poms with single googly eyes on the stop of the sprayer. Guaranteed to keep away all creatures from bedrooms of little girls.

I had purposely only filled it partially with water because, let's face it, I know my daughter. She immediately went crazy spraying EVERYTHING in her room. The bookcase, the dresser, the curtains, the windows, the closet doors, inside the closet, the floors, the clothes, her bedding, et cetera. I stopped her at the bedding because I didn't need her sleeping in a bed full of wet. 

And she was happy. The monster's couldn't possibly penetrate the force field provided by the spray. She was certain there was no way anything could get in to get her. 

A friend suggested I produce mass quantities of Monster Spray and sell them to parents. I probably could make a lot of money off them. I think I'd rather just keep this one for my girls...