Sunday, December 16, 2012

Dear Girls

Dear Hayden & Lucy,

A few days ago, an unimaginable nightmare took place in a small town called Newton, CT. A sad and disturbed young man shot his way into an elementary school and proceeded to kill 26 people...20 of whom were young children, like yourselves. Our entire country, and much of the world, is grief stricken and mourning over the loss of such innocence. Mommas and Daddies everywhere are holding their own children tighter than ever and grieving for those parents in Connecticut who are unable to do the same.

But you, my sweet daughters, are able to live in blissful ignorance of all that is going on around you. You are unaware of the pain, the loss, the helplessness. You are still running and skipping about with growing excitement about Christmas and presents. You are oblivious to the knowledge that there are presents under trees in CT that will never be ripped open by tiny eager hands. 

For this, I am envious. To have the fortune of being untouched by this nightmare and unscathed by the horror it has caused is a gift that many would love to have. I am also saddened to think that somewhere down the road, you will realize that the world is not perfect and that life can be brutal sometimes. It makes me want to pull you close and never let you go. 

But I can't do that forever. For now, while you are so innocent, I can shelter you and protect you. I can make sure that our home is safe for you and that it is filled with happiness, laughter, and love. In time you will feel heartache, you will be scared, frightened, disappointed, or hurt. Now is not your time. 

Now I will hold you closer, make you laugh harder, and love you more than you can imagine. I will do this for you, for me, and for the parents who lost their children. I will try to remember when you draw on the walls that it is just a wall and we have plenty of  paint. I will remember that the pain of stepping on a toy in the middle of the night that you left there, is an insignificant pain. I will not get annoyed when you interrupt what I'm doing because you want me to play with you or listen to you. I will read you a second bedtime story...a third...a fourth. I will always hug you and kiss you goodnight. I will never go to bed or leave the house angry. 

I will love you both with every ounce of my being every minute of every day.


Sisterly Love

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Happy Ho-Ho-Holloways!

It's that time of year again. The time of year when we force our children to go to the mall, stand in line, and sit on the lap of some fat old guy wearing a fake beard and a Santa suit that smells like stale whiskey, Cheetos and Ben-Gay. And please, children, don't forget to tell this man what you want for Christmas.

We are not the "dress up in frilly things and sit pretty for the camera" kind of people (shocking, right?) so I've never bothered to put the girls in anything other than what they were already wearing to go visit Mr. Claus.

In 2011, both girls were SO excited to go see Santa! You could practically hear their thoughts. 

"This man can get us exactly what we want for Christmas! We can totally by-pass Momma and Daddy! Who cares if they are happy? We just need to please this man in the red suit! Suckolios..." 

We stood in line for maybe 10 minutes which was tolerable for them both. When it was our turn, Hayden went running for Mall Santa and was thrilled to climb in his lap and smile like the manipulative little shit sweet little angel that she is. I swear I could hear her eyes batting. 

Lucy? Not so much. Lucy was happy until about the time I placed her on Santa's other leg. Now, she didn't cry, she didn't scream, she didn't get down or run off. No...not Lucy. She sat frozen on his leg and refused to make contact with anything but the ground. 

The photographer, Brad & I all jumped around and waved our arms like crazy. We called her name, we made stupid noises, we said "smiiiiiiiiiile Luuuuuuucy". Nothing worked. We did this for an hour! Ok, we did this for like 90 seconds and she finally looked at us for the picture. 

Pissed. OFF.

Not to mention the fact that she looks freaking enormous. I mean like, front page of the National Enquirer enormous. Like she ate the last idiot that tried to make her pose for this picture.


2012 was different. This year, the girls actually requested that they wear their "beautiful dresses" they had worn over Thanksgiving when we went to see The Nutcracker. They had baths, brushed their teeth, combed their hair, got dressed and ready to go without even a little fuss. Apparently they want to please Santa this year. Ok, offspring o' mine, game on. 

We got to the mall about the same time as Santa which was nice because there was only one person in front of us. Both girls were on their best behavior (for a change) and were pretty content to just hang out and wait. The excitement about being able to see Santa from where they stood was almost too much to handle. Hayden asked me about 4.9 million times "can I see Santa now?"

If I had a dollar for every time I have uttered the words "in a minute" over the past several months, I'd be retired and spending my time in one of four houses scattered throughout the country.

"In a minute, Hayden." 

Then it was our turn! Once again, Hayden rushed to Santa's side and was more than happy to be sitting on his lap. Lucy? Oh no...not again. Instead of putting her on his lap this year, I put her on the bench next to him. She looked at the floor...looked at me...gave a very Lucy-esque sideways stare to Santa and then looked at the photographer. 

They all have on the same boots!
I'm fairly certain that Lucy is thinking "you f*cking people are as ridiculous as this asshat in the Santa suit sitting next to me." That's not a's a smirk.

Happy Holidays. Pass the Tylenol. 

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Chugga-chugga CHOO CHOO!

Lucy is obsessed with trains. Actually, she's obsessed with all things that "go". Trains, planes, "helo-cockers", firetrucks, police cars, ambulances, et cetera.

The other day I took her shopping with me and after we were buckled safely into the Jeep Grand Cherokee she said "Momma! We're on a train!"

I said, "Lucy, it's our Jeep." Her response was "No, Momma. We're on a train!"

Ah, she wants to play. Last time we did this I had to say "chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-CHOO CHOOOOOO" for about 8 miles. It was awesome.

Usually this game has me starting everything off by opening the garage door and yelling out "ALL ABOARD!" 

Today was different.

Lucy started if off instead. I opened the garage door and turned to her and said "what do we say now?!"


Maybe locking her up until she's 35 isn't long enough...

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Tis the season...

It's not the holidays until the kids start begging for presents every minute of every day. This is the first year where both Hayden and Lucy completely understand the concept of Santa and Christmas.

Our Elf on the Shelf, Story, has been hanging out for the last several days...though I'm not particularly "into" the whole thing. For instance, I'm not interested in Story being "bad" while we sleep. I saw one blog where the Elf supposedly spent the night baking cookies and left the whole kitchen a mess.

Um, no thanks. First of all...I don't want to be up all night baking a bunch of damn cookies and two, that stupid red Elf isn't the one that has to clean it. I have to clean it. I have plenty of floors, tables, clothes and kids to clean without a destructive Elf adding to the mix. Santa's Helper, my ass. Where's Momma's Helper?!

/rant off

I took Hayden shopping so she could pick out her own present for Lucy and her Dad. It was almost too much for her to handle. Lucy just had to have a La La Loopsy doll ("well actually, Momma, I want one...") and Daddy? Daddy needed a toy. Or a "boy mirror". Or a Nutcracker (*snicker*). Or a Barbie Dream House.

I'm not entirely certain that Hayden totally understood she needed to pick out something THEY want, not something SHE wanted them to have. It's okay though, we compromised and she did a good job. Can't tell what she bought though! It's a secret!

On the way home we discussed Christmas and presents and Santa's list.

"Momma, if Santa slices your head off, you are on the Naughty List." 

Ho. Ho. CHOP.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Sharpies = not for kids.

My girls love to draw, color, paint, fly their art flags! 

Far too often, their canvas has been a wall or a door or the dining room table. Like last week when Brad thought it would be a good idea to give them assorted Sharpie's for coloring ornaments at the dining room table. Seriously - how did he think this was a good idea? After they had the Sharpie's in their hot little hands (unbeknownest to me), he came over and sat on the couch with me to go through digital pictures. For 30 minutes. 

Imagine MY surprise when they were finished and I went over to find the entire dining room table colored with Sharpie. There were several portraits of our family, some hearts and a lot of "H's". Brad started to yell at them...something about "you know better than that!" to which I immediately went off on him with my own version of "YOU should know better than that!"

In related news, rubbing alcohol and a soft rag rubbed gently on a table will remove Sharpie from stained wood.

Please, pass the wine. 
Yes, the whole bottle.

But...the writing and practicing is a good thing ultimately because Hayden is getting good at writing her name.

Proud of herself

She told me that's a picture of her. That's my little one eyed, spiky haired, giant eared, freckled, no body kid.

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